When I first got this project brief I was confused as to where I wanted to go with it. Of course in everyone’s life, no matter how simple, there is always something interesting to pick up on. So I decided to go full steam ahead and approach something that has affected my life. Various members of my family are recovering addicts for a number of things, so I thought that it would be interesting to explore an addiction that isn’t as “popular” as some. When I say popular I mean an addiction that isn’t taken as seriously as others. Beginning with an image of Brighton pier I began to go run ahead with ideas. I literally couldn’t stop working which I loved, I put a lot of myself, my thought process and my knowledge about addiction into this. And I am proud of it. Making these images i had to be deceptive, dishonest and undercover and parts of me at some points were extremely uncomfortable with that. But i think as a photography student you have to push yourself, otherwise what is the point? It would be easy to stand in the studio all day, but are you really challenging yourself?
I was a bit dubious about what final images i wanted to use, because i didn't want for the outcome to be obvious, but at the same time i wanted people to be able to follow it. It was only after i had spoke to Hugh and he had said "Tell you story you want, not the one you think you should" and thats when i realised that this is my project and i have to do what i think is right for it's outcome. So i have chosen 7 pictures that for me are a possible order of a gambling addicts journey. I am producing this project with my "knowing self" and certain aspects of a photograph or the project name would mean something to me without explanation, whereas some of my classmates may not. My aim is not to portray addicts as something disgusting that we should ignore, but offer, throughout my work, a view of hope. Which leads me to my photograph choices. I wanted to start the series of images off with "Distraction" an image of a man with a beer, playing the slot machine in a pub. This image to me shows how naturalised gambling is within society, and how easy something bad can begin. I then move onto two images from the Casino, because this almost still has that socialising factor to it, but still even though there are bright lights the pictures still have a dismal feel to them. Nobody looks happy, people just stand in the hope of a win. I then take a next step and have two images of 2 men sat alone in a bookies, almost the next stage where gambling alone in the daytime is normal, there is nothing fun about what they are doing, they both stare intensely at their betting sheets, and again these images look sad. I almost feel sorry for the men because there is something so lost about them. They aren't in a rush to go anywhere, they are relaxed in their surroundings. This is the drawing point when you have to question wether it is healthy to be in a bookies at 2pm in the afternoon? When no it isn't.
But this is when i wanted to turn to running theme around, and even though i didn't particularly want to use the image of Gary, a big issue seller, in my final images i feel that i need too. Because Gary is the bridge, the view of hope and the gateway. He is a recovering addict and even though he may not be in the best financial or stable situation, he is free of addiction. And for a recovering addict it is "One day at a time".
The final image is there as a signifier of life after addiction and to show that there is hope.
These images may appear to not make sense, but for me i wanted them all because they tell the story that i want to tell.
No comments:
Post a Comment